You Just Have to Try, Holden

 “How do you know what you’re going to do until you do it?” (Salinger 276)

Well, if there were one phrase to sum up the big thing holding Holden back, what he needed to learn in order to go start growing up, it'd be that line from the second to last page of the book. Holden says this in response to the question of whether he's going to now apply himself in school - he says it’s so stupid to ask if he’ll do something, because although he may think he will, there’s no real way of telling what will happen, until the moment actually comes, and he makes the choice. 

And really, the sentence feels just a bit ironic coming from Holden, given that the stem of his refusal to integrate into society and grow up is that he had already decided that something was going to happen if he did, that he would do something and become someone. Or at least, he didn't allow for the option to hope or search for any other possibility. Holden is revolted and disgusted by the very idea of ever becoming like one of the (many) adults he critiques throughout the book. In his first talk with Phoebe, we see him telling Phoebe that he doesn’t want to be a lawyer, because he doesn't think he'll be able to tell if he's genuinely doing it because he likes helping people, or because he wants the prestige that comes with it. 

Holden, throughout the story, gets so caught up with the idea that as long as he grows up and becomes an adult, this transition into phoniness is inevitable. And, as Mr. Antolini says, this cuts himself off before he can even begin to look for alternatives. Instead, he's driving himself into a paranoid frenzy about becoming phony as he grows up until the only option he leaves himself in his mind is to just - abandon society forever and go live in Vermont, I guess. 

However, as the book progresses, it's eventually thrown into his face that that's kind of a terrible idea - it's unlikely to ever work, and his behavior and actions in his attempt to escape from society have become harmful to the himself and the people around him - it's just not sustainable. 

There's the question of whether Holden really "came of age" in this story - and while he may not have completed the process, or even really gotten far at all, I think that with this single sentence, he's beginning to go on his way. He's acknowledged that he can’t really just avoid the problem altogether, that he can’t just tell himself that he will turn out a “phony” if he grows up and so just sidestep the conversion process (growing up) altogether. There's no way for him to truly know that, not until he's actually grown up, and by spending so much time telling himself that there's only one possible ending for him, he never tried. Avoiding the problem isn't a solution, in his situation it's a slightly toxic and pointless exercise. He has to face the task of growing up, just like everyone, and trust that there’s no way of telling how his life will end up until he actually goes for it.